1. Where, when were you born and in what kind of environment?
El Salvador, August 15, 1964. He was born into a middle class family, and the timing to raise a child was good.
2. What kind of temperament, or "mood" did you develop as an infant: were you easy going, slow to warm up to or just difficult to deal with?
Yeah, I was in a good mood, very easy going. My parents didn't have much trouble with my behavior as an infant.
3. Were you able to develop a secure or insecure attachment between you and your parents/caregivers?
I had developed a secure attachment with both my parents, but until I was about thirteen they got divorced and it hindered the strong attachment between me and my father. My mother and I still got along great.
4. When developing and learning to walk, do you remember if you grew just in or out of the developmental norms?
My mother said that when I was fourteen months old I started walking, and in my country that is counted as normal for a boy. Over here, it would be just a bit out of these norms.
5. Did your parents encourage you to explore, walk and talk as you pleased during infancy (1-3 yrs.)?
They encouraged the talking part, but when I wanted to explore some places they prevented me from doing so.
6. Of being influenced by parents, did you develop a sense of independence or feelings of shame and doubt?
I kind of feel more doubtful on doing things on my own. I feared that if I failed on my own, I would have nobody to blame but myself and let everyone down.
7. In your early years (2-7), how did you view the world?
I really didn't pay attention to the view of the world, for I cared much more for family, television and food at that age.
8. During your first five years of life according to Freud's theory, you have potential problems and if not resolved, you can be stuck or fixated at that stage. Did you develop any fixation that occurs today?
I remember that I would consume a lot of milk when I was little, and I would try to organize my toys, preventing other children from making it messy. Today, I religiously put everything in my designated spots every day, neat and organized. If things weren't perfect, I tend to get mad at myself.
9. What area in growing up as a child do you think was the most difficult? Did it deal with biological, social, or interacting with your parents/caregivers?
I don't think I had a difficult childhood really. I always had friends, talked with my parents, and was healthy mentally and physically. Only few times had I misbehaved and I learned to not do those things.
10. Did your parents try to establish a trust with you when you were an infant or adolescent?
My father didn't hug me or show much effort to "establish trust," but that's only a myth in my country called "machismo." It's like where the father is expected not to hug the male children in the family.
11. About what time did you start to think about abstract concepts like God, civil rights, and liberty more effectively and logically? This shows that you started going through Piaget's fourth cognitive stage.
I'd say about fourteen. I was raised in a catholic school, but it wasn't until I was fourteen when I gained an interest in religion and stuff.
12. Most teenagers make mistakes in their lives due to the fact that their prefrontal cortex is still developing. Did you ever mess up big time in your early years?
One time I was just playing, not being careful and accidentally locked all the keys of the whole house in one room. When my dad got home, he beat us with the cincho. When I was fifteen, there was this girl that I liked and she was going to a carnival. I ended up climbing a ten foot gate and broke my leg.
13. Making decisions can get tough when both choices have bad consequences. How did you make decisions to situations like these? Please describe one time if possible.
I feel like sometimes you have to make a decision for the mere fact that if you don't, you won't find out if it was a good path to take or not. Sometimes you have to pursue your goals and dreams, and if you don't, you will never know. You will have to live your life thinking "what if."
14. What type of Baumrind's parenting style do you think you use towards each child?
I think I'm a bit more of a permissive parent.
15. What parenting style would you use when one doesn't seem to work out?
Authoritative. I don't think that absolute power is necessary because kids are rebellious naturally, so I think that confronting the child to solve the problem would work other than taking strict power.
16. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I always wanted to be a civil engineer. I wanted to build bigger buildings than my father, and own a 1967 mustang.
17. People tend to pursue their dream to find themselves, like getting a degree in medicine. About what time did you want to "find" yourself?
I found myself at an early age. I wanted to be a civil engineer since I was in middle school. I was always good with numbers, still am.
18. How would you describe yourself looking back into your childhood?
Organized, all of my things would have a clean space to put. I was more reasonable person than a violent person, and was easy to get along with. Disciplined and always responsible.
19. Did you have a high or low sense of self-esteem in your life and when answering, did it change over time?
I did have high self-esteem, but it changed gradually over time to very low. Yet it did shoot up again later in my life.
20. Adolescents need to leave behind a carefree lifestyle and start gaining responsible, planned and purposeful behaviors. Did you have any problems trying to establish these behaviors? Did it affect your self-esteem and cause you to feel socially withdrawn?
Not really. I didn't have any problems growing up to be responsible and adult-like. I was a well behaved kid.
21. How do you currently feel about aging?
I feel that I've accomplished most in my life and I'm ready to age on. I just hope I will get to see my two sons graduate and get married.
22. What are specific areas that slow down in your body because of aging?
I can't make three-pointers no more! I can't run as fast as I used to, yet I can still walk pretty fast. I can't drive as long as I did before. Pains in my legs cause aches when I stand for too long, only because of my work.
23. More neural connections are being developed, which increases flexibility and ability to adapt. This is also due to more life experience. What things in your life do you think you could have changed now that you can analyze decisions more effectively?
I would like to change the control of my finances during the end of my first marriage. I got left with nothing, so yeah, my finances caught up to me.
24. Do you tend to look on the good side of ugly situations?
I do now. It's more like "try to focus on the big picture rather than on the small things."
25. In your marriage, facing big problems might hurt your relationship. How do you deal with these obstacles together?
Keeping a good intimate relationship. Having communication is the key to break down the problem and confront them.
26. How are you helping the younger generation to improve their future?
Getting involved with their school, activities and community helps for their future. Trying to set the example for their development.
27. When you have an overview of your lifespan, do you think you've done enough and feel content with your past accomplishments?
I feel content with my past accomplishments, yet I still think I can do more. There's a part of me that thinks that I can still go back to school and do more.
28. Did you always feel this way and have this personality? Are there any events in your life that might have altered your overall personality?
Almost always. The only time I felt devastated was when I separated from my children. I cried almost every night and I felt that there was a chance where my kids would stop loving me. But I overcame that and thanks to the support and love of my kids.
29. What do you hope to pass on to your children when they have their children?
Love God, family, and respect each other. Encourage them to improve and better themselves by acquiring education. I wish to preach by example.
30. Have you ever wondered about your time when you're nearing death? How would you feel with that, looking at it now?
I live my life like if it were the last day, and if I would die today I should be happy that I did what I had to do. What I mean by that is I feel like I should be prepared everyday if the Lord calls me, so I don't actually fear death or deny it.
Oscar Alfredo Palomares was born in El Salvador on August 15, 1964. He was born into a middle class family and had loving biological parents. Around three his parents encouraged him to speak his mind, but to tread carefully, causing him to have a decreased sense of independence. At grade school, he had many friends, got good grades, and received unconditional positive regard from his parents. When he turned thirteen, his parents got divorced and he moved in with his mother. His resiliency aided him to cope with the situation and realize why they couldn't stay together, putting him in the formal operational stage. After growing into his twenties, he attended "La Universidad Politecnica de El Salvador," and obtained a degree in civil engineering in 1988. The same year he married a woman named Orpha Ruth Aparicio for twenty plus years.
In 1979, there was a civil war within El Salvador that forced the couple to migrate to North America where they procreated three wonderful and gorgeous kids. Oscar divorced her later and remarried to Ana Maria Ruiz. With financial problems, the couple learned to overcome and flourish in a community that has a history of crimes. They were able to create a website to help detect potential threats to homes and the two love to cook. Their younger children visit them almost every week and have a wonderful time, everytime. Like Oscar always says "Sometimes it's better quality than quantity."
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